Tuesday, June 17, 2008

"Doc, I need help -- fast!"


"Vaht iz ze problem Rrrrrobert?"
"Well, Doc, for the last several months, camouflage print has been trying to make its way into my life and my wardrobe. It's relentless."
"Yez, continue."
"Well, before I went to Dubai last November, camouflage kept beckoning me, but I resisted. Since then, it has been getting stronger."
"Hmmmmm."
"And then before going to Mexico in March, the urge to buy camouflage clothing was taunting me worse than ever. I even gave in a teensy bit, buying a backpack in Mexico that just has a bit of camo trim on it. But it wasn't enough. It's still constantly beckoning."
"Um-hmmm."
"Today, I was out shopping for summer clothes, and everywhere I turned, there it was, almost calling out loud 'Buy me, Bob'."
"Weeerrrrryyyy inderezding."
"It was difficult, Doc, but I resisted again. What should I do?"
"I zay you should give in to your urge and ze beckoning. Go camo!"
"No! For goodness sake, Doc, I'm a 50-year-old white guy!"
"You azked for help, zat iz my advize."
"No! I want a second opinion!"
"Okay: you are veird, cuckoo in ze coconut, az well."
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

4 comments:

XUP said...

Stay away from the camo, Bob. I can't emphasize this enough. Do. Not. Wear. Camo. Never ever. Just the fact that you thought of it makes me a little bit ashamed of knowing you -- even virtually.

John Mielke Photography said...

In this Doctor's opinion, your issue is a direct result of being too consumed by your work.

While I am in full support of their cause, it's not hard to point blame the A Channel Pink Army and their non-stop ads for people to buy the pink como stuff.

Clearly you've been watching too much A Channel. Change the channel... or listen to the radio. At the very least, a few hours of radio listening will have you dreaming of a new mattress from one of the 50 bed stores around.

Newsguy Bob said...

Thanks, Dr. Milky. I feel much better already.
I would feel even better with a pair of Great Big Sea tickets for me and mutual buddy Yves. :)

By the by, my last two mattresses came from the store that asks "Why buy a mattress anywhere else?"

Anonymous said...

I think he deserves the tickets, think of it as a prescription from the doctor.