Poor "Coffee The Prettiest Cat Ever" (it's really her title, registered with Buckingham Palace and everything) just lived through four days of HELL (lower case just doesn't convey the severity).
This is why:
Sandy, who you'll notice, has many of the same letters in her name as Satan does. Sandy's earthly body is that of a one-year-old terrypoo (half Jack Russell terrier and half poodle). She has chosen my aunt and uncle to feed and house her. The three of them were guests in my home from Friday afternoon until this morning, under the guise of my aunt and uncle attending the Neil Diamond concert on Sunday. It was all a ruse for Sandy/Satan to unleash HELL on poor, unsuspecting Coffee The Prettiest Cat Ever.
Sandy/Satan portrays a playful, lovable, affectionate, full-of-kisses puppy. But if Coffee The Prettiest Cat Ever was actually a boy named Johnny, there would have been a fiddle-off, with the stakes being Coffee's soul up against a golden fiddle.
Sandy/Satan took over the entire house, playing with Coffee's toys, running around like an orangutan and worst of all, dominating Coffee's Daddy's attention -- not to mention Coffee's favourite snoozing place, between her Daddy's knees when he's reclining in his Lazy Boy chair.
Now, Coffee The Prettiest Cat Ever is no wuss. She knows how to defend herself and her territory, even against tactics from HELL. When Sandy/Satan would get too close and/or try to get Coffee to play her devilish games, Coffee would let go with a devilish hiss that even made Sandy/Satan back off. I did not witness it myself, but I'm told that at one point Saturday afternoon, Coffee even tempted fate by belting Sandy/Satan in the head, knocking her for a loop. And all weekend, Coffee kept Sandy/Satan at bay (most of the time) with a stern leer from six or eight feet away. "Go ahead, Devil," the leer conveyed, "make my day. My food and water dishes might have been relegated to the basement to keep you from using them, but I will prevail!"
Coffee The Prettiest Cat Ever is now claiming victory. Sandy/Satan has gone back to Cochrane with her earthly hosts, and Coffee's soul is still intact. She is now once again the dominant creature within these walls. She can now brag that she has been through HELL and back.
Touché! Now, about that golden fiddle...