We miss you.
Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I do. Kinda.
The blogosphere just doesn't seem the same without you.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Seamus 'n Me
So I've moved into Milky's house to take care of it and Famous Seamus for a week.
He's a lovable mutt (Seamus, not Milky -- okay, Milky too) but what a neurotic suck (Seamus, not Milky). He danged well KNOWS that Milky and The Lovely Sue were making a getaway when they left with suitcases at about 4:30 this morning. He cried and whined for about an hour, before falling asleep on the bed next to me. Then the rest of the day until I left for work, he just moped around all depressed. He wouldn't play with me and his ball, the tennis ball that he always drops at my feet until I throw it or kick it, soaking my socks on the doggie drool.
I'm sure he'll feet better as the week wears on. Milky already e-mailed to ask how Seamus is doing, and I told a little white lie, that we're getting along famously. Actually, we are, it's just that Seamus isn't his friendly old self.
Some people around me find irony in the fact that I had to hire Phil's Cat-Sitting Service (the kid who lives in the apartment above mine) to take care of Coffee while I'm taking care of Seamus.
By the way, big thanks to Milky's neighbour Yves for pitching in, and stopping by to see Seamus while I'm at work. You see, he's not used to being left alone for any more than four or five hours at a time. I'm often away for eleven hours or more.
He's a lovable mutt (Seamus, not Milky -- okay, Milky too) but what a neurotic suck (Seamus, not Milky). He danged well KNOWS that Milky and The Lovely Sue were making a getaway when they left with suitcases at about 4:30 this morning. He cried and whined for about an hour, before falling asleep on the bed next to me. Then the rest of the day until I left for work, he just moped around all depressed. He wouldn't play with me and his ball, the tennis ball that he always drops at my feet until I throw it or kick it, soaking my socks on the doggie drool.
I'm sure he'll feet better as the week wears on. Milky already e-mailed to ask how Seamus is doing, and I told a little white lie, that we're getting along famously. Actually, we are, it's just that Seamus isn't his friendly old self.
Some people around me find irony in the fact that I had to hire Phil's Cat-Sitting Service (the kid who lives in the apartment above mine) to take care of Coffee while I'm taking care of Seamus.
By the way, big thanks to Milky's neighbour Yves for pitching in, and stopping by to see Seamus while I'm at work. You see, he's not used to being left alone for any more than four or five hours at a time. I'm often away for eleven hours or more.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Look what I found!
So I'm trying to clean out my extra bedroom and part with an accumulation of junk from the past 20 years or so (next project: same thing in overpacked storage locker), and look what I found. N@ wrote me this letter in 1990, when she was a wee lass working part-time at the same radio station where I was news director, and had just announced my departure for TV.
First, the front of the envelope. Note the return address and the 39-cent stamp.
Now, the artwork on the back of the envelope.
And, the pièce de résistance, the letter.
The "Ronnie m'boy" reference is to the time I memo'd young Natalie (yeah, snail mail and memos -- this was 1990, after all) for coming off a BN newscast one night by thanking the newscaster by saying "Thanks, Ronnie m'boy".
I'm not sure whether I'll keep this. It could be a collector's item some day.
First, the front of the envelope. Note the return address and the 39-cent stamp.
Now, the artwork on the back of the envelope.
And, the pièce de résistance, the letter.
The "Ronnie m'boy" reference is to the time I memo'd young Natalie (yeah, snail mail and memos -- this was 1990, after all) for coming off a BN newscast one night by thanking the newscaster by saying "Thanks, Ronnie m'boy".
I'm not sure whether I'll keep this. It could be a collector's item some day.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Reflective Feline
"Aw Jeez, not that crazy old guy and his cat again."
Hey, it's my blog, so get used to it!
This picture of Coffee The Prettiest Cat EVER was taken in my en suite bathroom. She is sitting on the corner of the bathtub, right up against the shower stall. It, by the way, is the largest walk-in shower I have ever seen.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Facebook brings 'em back from the dead
I'm not sure if there's any connection to Kitty's recent post about ghosts, but I had a strange experience yesterday.
There was a guy I knew in college. We weren't exactly close friends, because I thought he was a bit of a horse's ass -- which is saying something for broadcasting students!
I did, however, feel badly when I heard a few years after college that he had cancer. His brother played in the NHL and he himself was a Molson rep (so much for the two-year broadcasting diploma, eh?) and Hockey Night in Canada even did a feature on his battle with cancer. I could have sworn that I heard that he had died, but then yesterday, up he pops on my Facebook page, looking for me to be his friend. I accepted, but haven't sent him any messages yet.
How do you say "Geez, I thought you were dead"?
There was a guy I knew in college. We weren't exactly close friends, because I thought he was a bit of a horse's ass -- which is saying something for broadcasting students!
I did, however, feel badly when I heard a few years after college that he had cancer. His brother played in the NHL and he himself was a Molson rep (so much for the two-year broadcasting diploma, eh?) and Hockey Night in Canada even did a feature on his battle with cancer. I could have sworn that I heard that he had died, but then yesterday, up he pops on my Facebook page, looking for me to be his friend. I accepted, but haven't sent him any messages yet.
How do you say "Geez, I thought you were dead"?
Monday, January 14, 2008
Real estate values in Blackburn Hamlet skyrocket overnight
And why? Beside the first-ever Tim Hortons in my part of Ottawa opened today!
A co-worker tells me that one just opened in her neighbourhood, too, in downtown Ottawa, the Bank St.-Somerset St. area.
Does it get any better? I don't think so.
Ma, I know that modesty leads you to deny having any influence, but we know better. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
A co-worker tells me that one just opened in her neighbourhood, too, in downtown Ottawa, the Bank St.-Somerset St. area.
Does it get any better? I don't think so.
Ma, I know that modesty leads you to deny having any influence, but we know better. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Any story ideas?
It's a very slow day in Ottawa (In news, we never use the Q-word -- as in not noisy -- cuz it invariably causes the poop to hit the fan) and we need some story ideas.
Any suggestions? Use your imagination. Buehler? Buehler?
Any suggestions? Use your imagination. Buehler? Buehler?
Friday, January 11, 2008
Market Media Mall is cursed
I'm really starting to believe that the building where I work is cursed.
You might remember my Christmas Eve post, recounting how one of our receptionists had been killed in a car accident on her way to work that morning. A week or so before that, another woman in our building was in a car accident that broke her back and hip; a co-worker's elderly mother fell and messed up one of her two replacement hips; and another co-worker's elderly mother and brother had a fire in their townhouse, and are still in hospital recovering.
Within the past week, another co-worker's elderly mother contracted pneumonia and was put into an induced coma to give her heart and respiratory system a rest from the titanic struggle they were going through. And then on Tuesday, yet another co-worker got a call from his homeland of Estonia, reporting the death of his father.
Some of us are ready to call in an exorcist or an aboriginal shaman to purify our building.
You might remember my Christmas Eve post, recounting how one of our receptionists had been killed in a car accident on her way to work that morning. A week or so before that, another woman in our building was in a car accident that broke her back and hip; a co-worker's elderly mother fell and messed up one of her two replacement hips; and another co-worker's elderly mother and brother had a fire in their townhouse, and are still in hospital recovering.
Within the past week, another co-worker's elderly mother contracted pneumonia and was put into an induced coma to give her heart and respiratory system a rest from the titanic struggle they were going through. And then on Tuesday, yet another co-worker got a call from his homeland of Estonia, reporting the death of his father.
Some of us are ready to call in an exorcist or an aboriginal shaman to purify our building.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Is this ironic?
There's an online dictionary that I check almost every day, for its Word of the Day, or for the definition of any word I need. (Okay, so I'm a word nerd. Get over it. I have.)
Anyway, the word has not been changed in the last couple of weeks. It appears to be stuck on this:
sustain
Definition: (verb) to keep in existence or continue.
I think that's irony. I'll have to look it up.
Anyway, the word has not been changed in the last couple of weeks. It appears to be stuck on this:
sustain
Definition: (verb) to keep in existence or continue.
I think that's irony. I'll have to look it up.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Cancun, anyone?
Okay, so I'm booked March 28-April 4 at Occidental Grand Xcaret in Cancun.
Maria or anyone else: What do you know about Cancun, what's to see, what's the hotel like, etc.?
Monday, January 07, 2008
What ho, Guv'nah! Do you heah a fog horn?
I took this off my balcony at about 11:30 this morning. It was 6C at the time. If anything, it's even foggier now.
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Prettiest Cat EVER
I finally got a shot without Coffee moving the split second I pushed the shutter button. My next mission: a pose of her sitting.
Ain't she purdy?
Friday, January 04, 2008
Trying to be like my hero, Milky
I took this last week at the cottage. It's a close-up of the stairs leading up to the deck at the front of the cottage. Kinda looks like a white Christmas tree, doesn't it?
I took some other pics that I might share with you. It's especially beautiful there in the winter when it's sunny, which it wasn't when my Dad and I plowed through waist-high snow to get to the cottage, about 100 ft. from the road. Of course, the next day was beautiful and bright!
I took some other pics that I might share with you. It's especially beautiful there in the winter when it's sunny, which it wasn't when my Dad and I plowed through waist-high snow to get to the cottage, about 100 ft. from the road. Of course, the next day was beautiful and bright!
Man Laws
Thanks to my buddy Chris for this -- kinda "The Men Commandments". Corn and Maria's Hubby would probably agree with my suggestion to add to #2 with "When she dings your car".
The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.
1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
3. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... And it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
A) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
B) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
C) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing (I.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc.). For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
29. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with The guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, And having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!"
We hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.
The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.
1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
3. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... And it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
A) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
B) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
C) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing (I.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc.). For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
29. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with The guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, And having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!"
We hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
What's wrong with this picture?
Don't say "What picture?" -- it's a metaphor for "situation".
Picture this: I go out to get supper last night, and right in front of the building in which I work, a homeless panhandler wishes me happy new year. But to do it, he has to interrupt his cell phone conversation!!! WTF, people!
Picture this: I go out to get supper last night, and right in front of the building in which I work, a homeless panhandler wishes me happy new year. But to do it, he has to interrupt his cell phone conversation!!! WTF, people!
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Yeah, yeah, I'm back
Got home shortly after midnight last night, thanks to a flight delay in Toronto and having to wait on the ground in Ottawa while another plane was moved away from our gate. Same thing happened when I came home from Dubai. Are there not enough gates at Ottawa International, or just a bunch of dunderheads assigning planes to them?
Then I was up early this morning, in order to do my weekly gig at the Royal Ottawa Hospital, where I volunteer in the café (think Tim Hortons without the drive-thru or apple fritters). So by the time I get off work in eight more hours, it will have been a long first day at work for 2008.
Coffee Cat was very happy to see her daddy last night. She ran around the apartment, jumped on and off the bed, and was even more lovable than ever.
So, what's new with me? Not much, other than Little Bro Dan and The Pretty Fiancée have decided that their wedding will be in April 2009, probably in the Bahamas. So knowing that, I'm going to book a one-week vacation somewhere in the Caribbean this April.
That's it from me for now. So, how're youse?
Then I was up early this morning, in order to do my weekly gig at the Royal Ottawa Hospital, where I volunteer in the café (think Tim Hortons without the drive-thru or apple fritters). So by the time I get off work in eight more hours, it will have been a long first day at work for 2008.
Coffee Cat was very happy to see her daddy last night. She ran around the apartment, jumped on and off the bed, and was even more lovable than ever.
So, what's new with me? Not much, other than Little Bro Dan and The Pretty Fiancée have decided that their wedding will be in April 2009, probably in the Bahamas. So knowing that, I'm going to book a one-week vacation somewhere in the Caribbean this April.
That's it from me for now. So, how're youse?
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
No Secret Santa gift yet...
Honest, Secret Santa, despite my potty mouth and potty keyboard on this and other blogs, I really HAVE been a good boy all year.
But here I am, two days after Secret Santa Day, and what have I got? Big, fat ZILCH.
Maybe you went down the wrong email chimney. Mine is the one at mcintyre_bob@hotmail.com . So lay it on me, Big Guy!
Love and hugs,
Newsguy Bob
P.S. Please hug Mrs. Secret Santa and the Secret Reindeer for me, even that arrogant "My nose glows" Secret Rudolph and Secret Bruno, the brown-nosed Secret Reindeer (for anyone who doesn't know, Bruno is the one right behind Rudolph. He has a hard time stopping).
But here I am, two days after Secret Santa Day, and what have I got? Big, fat ZILCH.
Maybe you went down the wrong email chimney. Mine is the one at mcintyre_bob@hotmail.com . So lay it on me, Big Guy!
Love and hugs,
Newsguy Bob
P.S. Please hug Mrs. Secret Santa and the Secret Reindeer for me, even that arrogant "My nose glows" Secret Rudolph and Secret Bruno, the brown-nosed Secret Reindeer (for anyone who doesn't know, Bruno is the one right behind Rudolph. He has a hard time stopping).
Monday, December 24, 2007
R.I.P. Holly
It has been a week or so of bad news from a lot of people who work in our building. One suffered a broken back and hip in a car wreck; another is dealing with her mother having broken her hip; and yet another with his mother and older brother being severely hurt by smoke inhalation during a fire in their townhouse.
The big shocker came this morning. One of our receptionists was driving in to work from her home in Brockville, when a five-ton truck hit her little car, killing Holly. She was a long-time security guard in our building, who just moved in to the receptionist job a few months ago.
A sobering occurrence this Christmas Eve.
Rest in peace, Holly. We already miss you.
To anyone reading this, give your loved ones an extra hug today.
The big shocker came this morning. One of our receptionists was driving in to work from her home in Brockville, when a five-ton truck hit her little car, killing Holly. She was a long-time security guard in our building, who just moved in to the receptionist job a few months ago.
A sobering occurrence this Christmas Eve.
Rest in peace, Holly. We already miss you.
To anyone reading this, give your loved ones an extra hug today.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
My annual Christmas card letter this year
Hey guys and gals…
My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year........
I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat sh*t in the
glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every
envelope that needs sealing.
Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same
reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave them to a sick girl (Penny
Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program .....
OR from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split $7
million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer
who died intestate.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
out for me, and St.Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car to
prevent a serial killer crawling into the back seat when I'm filling up.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore and Uzbekistan.
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown
African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when
it bites my bum.
And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found
dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex
molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
Now, if you don't forward this to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
minutes, a large seagull with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm
this afternoon and the fleas from 12 mangy camels will infest your
backside, causing you to grow a hairy lump. I know this will occur,
because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
By the way....a South American scientist, after a lengthy study, has
discovered, that people with high intellegence but low IQ who have
infrequent sexual activity, always read their e-mails with their hand on
the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
Have a great 2008 and keep emailing
Love and hugs as ever,
Bob
My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year........
I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat sh*t in the
glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every
envelope that needs sealing.
Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same
reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave them to a sick girl (Penny
Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program .....
OR from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split $7
million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer
who died intestate.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
out for me, and St.Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car to
prevent a serial killer crawling into the back seat when I'm filling up.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore and Uzbekistan.
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown
African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when
it bites my bum.
And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found
dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex
molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
Now, if you don't forward this to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
minutes, a large seagull with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm
this afternoon and the fleas from 12 mangy camels will infest your
backside, causing you to grow a hairy lump. I know this will occur,
because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
By the way....a South American scientist, after a lengthy study, has
discovered, that people with high intellegence but low IQ who have
infrequent sexual activity, always read their e-mails with their hand on
the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
Have a great 2008 and keep emailing
Love and hugs as ever,
Bob
Anyone know of anyone driving from Ottawa to Iroquois Falls in the next four days?
So how dumb am I? Okay, a rhetorical question there, but bear with me.
First, I book the flight north for Boxing Day. Then I go out Christmas shopping, sucking up to Santa and Big Retail Business by going hog wild with big presents like housecoats, sweaters, goofy slippers (no moose or Homer Simpsons, but in that realm). How the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks do I pack all that crap?
So it looks like I'll find a box big enough, and put it on the bus. Thank Gawd the strike is over, and buses are running again north of North Bay.
Where's Scotty when you need him to beam something up for you?
First, I book the flight north for Boxing Day. Then I go out Christmas shopping, sucking up to Santa and Big Retail Business by going hog wild with big presents like housecoats, sweaters, goofy slippers (no moose or Homer Simpsons, but in that realm). How the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks do I pack all that crap?
So it looks like I'll find a box big enough, and put it on the bus. Thank Gawd the strike is over, and buses are running again north of North Bay.
Where's Scotty when you need him to beam something up for you?
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