Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Mushroom Cloud Alert

I'm getting a natural gas barbecue! There's a connection for it on my balcony, and this is the first building I've ever lived in that actually encourages barbecues. So I can pick it up on Thursday, and hope to have it fired up by Saturday night -- Monday at the latest, because of my stupid work schedule.

So I've also been shopping for barbecue tools, etc., and have noticed some unusual things. My friend Cathy makes Beer Butt Chicken (totally yummy; drink half a can of beer, shove the can up the chicken's butt; the rest of the beer bastes the bird from the inside) and now commercialism is even catching up to that with a stand for Beer Butt Chicken. Sucker bait -- it stands on the beer can, Stupid.

Sidebar story: I bought some barbecue tools at WalMart today, and was in line at the 8-items-or-less express checkout behind a stupid bee-atch who obviously can't count. Problem is, the cashier doesn't enforce the 8-items-or-less rule. Anyway, when Bee-atch unloads her cart onto the counter, I get between her and the cart. Then when she has checked out her 43 items, she turns to get the cart, and there it is -- gone! I got a certain amount of satisfaction out of that. Serves the ignorant bee-atch right.

I think the cashiers should have to enforce the express rules. At WalMart, your receipt has the number of items you've bought on it. Management should keep track of such things, and lay some heavy crap on the cashiers for anything over eight items at the express checkout.

Dammit, one day the world will work according to MY standards! Unfortunately, I can't bite off my nose to spite my face. I'm already boycotting Zellers, so I can't do the same to WalMart.

There. My Cranky Old Fart rant is over, and I feel much better.


Misster Kitty said...


NGB, next time I'm in Ottawa, we are SO going shopping together!

Crap like that pisses me off to no end. Together you and I could clean up Retail!

John Mielke Photography said...

I'm with ya guys!!!!! What's the point of having that lane with all the signage if you're not going to enforce it??

Giant Tiger (local Ottawa retailer) has me on the warpath every damn time I'm in their express lane. See, their express lane is also their merchandise return area. WTF?!?!? I'm in line with a carton of milk and some gum and I have to wait while some woman returns a rug, 10 pair of undies, a cd player, 2 posters, a mop, a broom, and a poker table????

Then, once all that is checked back in at this "express cash" the cashier needs to page a manager to authrorize the return... which the manager can't do until she personally goes over all that shit again?????

I give them hell every damn time.

The other thing that pisses me off, and I get VERY vocal about it in stores when they do it, is when they open another cash because the lineups are to long, and the cashier mumbles "I can help someone here."

Someone? Oh no you don't. You can help ME. I've been in this bloody line the longest - nevermind that person who just got here.

Cudos to the cashier at Shoppers the other day who opened up her cash, and actually looked me in the eye and said "sir, you're next, I'll help YOU right here."

FANTASTIC! And I made sure to tell her how much I appreciated her system.

Wooooooo! That's a load off.


Newsguy Bob said...

Don't get me going about another brainless initiative of The Bay -- The Central Customer Service Desk. It just means the cheap bastards have fewer cashiers and returns clerks, and customers have a longer wait in line.

Look out, Retail! NGB, Kitty and Milky are organizing a revolt! We're recruiting Bloglodytes at this very minute.


Newsguy Bob said...


The barbecue has been picked up and is now on my balcony. It still has to be prepped before firing up... again, maybe Saturday.